saved my life

tonight is ballet class and thank god because i need it. i wish i was good enough to dance out the painful stuff... the heart stuff... the life stuff... (and yes, yes, anyone can dance their feeeeelings, but not actually. because i believe in dance and i believe in dancing well, and worst of all i believe in ballet, and there is no doing ballet poorly, no sir, it will not do.)

so i will watch this, instead. and then work harder in class.



when i first saw this ballet, wrapped in my ikea duvet in my ikea room, all in white and wood, in a grey and cold edinburgh, i cried so hard i thought i might die. i wonder if i will ever ever manage to make something that moves me as much as this ballet did? (as ballet does.) i am pretty certain i won't, but that is okay because that is a very very very big demand to make on my little art and even if i make something a quarter as moving... well... that will be good too.

happy monday. the world is hard right now. steep in the beautiful things when you can.