ff

this week has heralded a few great conversations about rape and rape culture. (some not so great, too, but let's not focus on those right now.)

people outside of the feminist blogisphere have been engaging in rape culture discussions triggered by the horrible so sad awful rage-tears-inducing gang rape in india. and. while i do agree with the following...

{@pushinghoops}

i am still grateful that soooomething is happening and people are thinking and speaking and learning.

jill over at feministe links to two really thoughtful pieces that discuss purity and virtue. read them both. they're worth spending some time with.  

{from e.j. graff's piece for the american prospect}

and then, too, mom sent me this little dude which is very yes and i like it very much. (because, say it with me friends, feminism is not about women wiiinnnnnning, its about gender equality and a world that is accepting of masculinity and feminity that fall outside of the rigid little set of descriptors we're all supposed to adhere to.)

and also, this video which a dear old friend (hi jess!!) sent me.

somedays my heart hurts so bad for the state of the world, and somedays i have slivers of hopefulness and somedays... and everydays i am thankful and thankful and thankful for my own personal world, where, jokes aside about 'erin's silly feminist posts', i am loved and respected by my friends and family and given autonomy. if only everyone was so lucky. (if only that, then... universe fixed...)

**and as always seems to be the case when i write an ff post that isn't 100% angry-sad a little in advance of friday, i came across this piece last night about two young men raping their jiu-jitsu teammate in a parking lot instead of driving her home safely like they said they would do. and oh, fuck it. ow. oh. my heart. my angry-sad heart.**

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ff

you might remember there being a little teaser last week?

yeah!

on learning and unlearning. or. the impossibility of the latter.

i am just a wee baby of feminism. this is true. i am so so new and all a-stumbles on my under-formed feminist-legs. like a baby deer learning to walk. (i think maybe baby deer should be the blorg mascott... but that's another issue. a cute issue.) but the thing about it is: once you know, you can't un-know. you know?

(haha!)

and so that is where i am. i may not have the best language to argue my (our) case. but. i know i need to argue it anyway. because i have started to see it. and now i can't help but see it all the time.* to see that the united states is a terror-fest for women, despite the fact that it isn't as obvious as not-being-allowed-an-education, or being-forced-to-cover-our-bodies-in-a-complete-way... to see how many women and girls i know who are so deeply damaged by years of being told certain things about what it means to be a woman. to see how many men and boys i know who are so deeply damaged by years of being told certain things about what it means to be a man.

and sometimes i wish i didn't see it. sometimes i wish i could laugh at things like 'shit girls say' and not feel sick to my stomach knowing that there is something so deeply ingrained and flawed in the way we mock eachother. sometimes i wish my heart didn't hurt so much so often.

but that would mean i was going along blissfully ignorant. and i no longer have that option. and i suspect there are those amongst you, readers, who are hesitant to open up to the knowing. i can't blame you. it's hard. and there is no going backwards. so. i get it. if you're hesitant to join me... but i hope you will anyways. because we all know that struggle and hardship are what make us stronger humans. or something. and we can only improve things if we see them in the first place.

tra la la.

{our beloved hillary clinton drinks to the feminist of the week! photo from international business times.}

feminist of the week for this extra-special my-birthday-week has been a long time coming. sarah rankin!!! roommate extraordinaire. and feminist educator to the masses. she introduced me to feministe and shakesville, and she taught me to argue and fight when i feel i need to. she also explained this sad-truth of not being able to go back once you're in. and we had a cool talk about consent and knowledge, which maybe i'll have her guest-write about one day when she's done with school for the term... yeah?!

*it is, of course, important not to get toooo carried away, and let it ruin your life completely. and so. kittens.

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ff

last week. the grammys. i didn't watch them. not because of the chris brown debacle... i didn't even know about that until midway through, due to the chatter on twitter. i had read over 300 pages of 1Q84 in under a week, and i hadn't been paying attention and i don't much care about the grammys anyways.

but.

i do care about the chris brown debacle. for the last three years i have been constantly disturbed by the fact that almost no one seems to care that chris brown hit rihanna in the face and sent her to hospital. or they sortakinda care but, you know, not enough to not like him, you know?

sure, i never listened to his music before or after... but generally i feel that people who hit their girlfriends are BAD people. and shouldn't be supported and idolized. anyways.

readings for you on the topic. the first is a very well handled piece by sasha pasulka.

* not okay

and here's a nightmare wrapped up in a neurotoxin!

* what is wrong with us?!

and finally this gem from jill at feministe:

* isn't being a woman in this world top shelf?

sometimes it is all i can do to put clothes on my body and get out the door, knowing that this is the world that waits outside for me. a million hooorays!

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