ff

 {borrowed from here}

happy 40th birthday to roe v. wade. i wish i could be more chipper cheerful about your birthday. but i'm feeling pretty low about the whole chipping-away-at-you thing that is happening in the states. our not-far-away-we-look-to-them-too-often neighbour. it makes me scared and it makes me tired. here are some roe v. wade gifts:

* npr fresh air talks with carolyn jones about the process of getting an abortion in texas.

(this is very good. this fresh air piece. i mean, sure it had me crying on the subway and really wishing i had a small space i could go into and scream and scream until my voice was gone from the anger of it. but. it is a good good perspective to hear. someone who chose to abort a very much wanted baby, knowing that the baby would live a horrible painful life... her story is compelling and brutal but she is level and reasoned in her telling. and terry gross also manages to keep herself even and calm throughout the interview, which i respect because, again, all i wanted to do was scream and weep which maybe aren't the most useful things.) and, too:

* always wonderful jill has a bunch of gooood info in this piece for the guardian

* maya summerizes what is happening in mississippi with the erosion of choice

and i have a question for you lot. what do we do? how do we fight hatred and ignorance and fear? what do i do? how do i be a loud, informed voice, but also not lose my mind with anger and desperation? how do i handle the absurd hypocrisy? i want to be useful. i don't know how.

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ff

this week has heralded a few great conversations about rape and rape culture. (some not so great, too, but let's not focus on those right now.)

people outside of the feminist blogisphere have been engaging in rape culture discussions triggered by the horrible so sad awful rage-tears-inducing gang rape in india. and. while i do agree with the following...

{@pushinghoops}

i am still grateful that soooomething is happening and people are thinking and speaking and learning.

jill over at feministe links to two really thoughtful pieces that discuss purity and virtue. read them both. they're worth spending some time with.  

{from e.j. graff's piece for the american prospect}

and then, too, mom sent me this little dude which is very yes and i like it very much. (because, say it with me friends, feminism is not about women wiiinnnnnning, its about gender equality and a world that is accepting of masculinity and feminity that fall outside of the rigid little set of descriptors we're all supposed to adhere to.)

and also, this video which a dear old friend (hi jess!!) sent me.

somedays my heart hurts so bad for the state of the world, and somedays i have slivers of hopefulness and somedays... and everydays i am thankful and thankful and thankful for my own personal world, where, jokes aside about 'erin's silly feminist posts', i am loved and respected by my friends and family and given autonomy. if only everyone was so lucky. (if only that, then... universe fixed...)

**and as always seems to be the case when i write an ff post that isn't 100% angry-sad a little in advance of friday, i came across this piece last night about two young men raping their jiu-jitsu teammate in a parking lot instead of driving her home safely like they said they would do. and oh, fuck it. ow. oh. my heart. my angry-sad heart.**

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ff

i had a really good talk with the dad while i was home. about religion and philosophy and morality and what being 'christian' actually means and what being with or without the church means and so on. it was really nice to have a frank and adult conversation where i didn't feel like i had to apologize for my lack of church-go-to-it-ness. i'm lucky that my parentals are not afraid of this kind of discussion. fact is i believe the same thing now as i did before i added the 'lapsed' to my catholic. that the point of it all, really, is to try to be loving and good and kind and moral. there's a lot of grey space in that language that maybe we can talk about one day. but for today. i'd like to point out what i believe to be really really not christian at all. god-believing-in or not. you'll never guess. what it is. oh, what? you did. yeah! hate and discrimination! check it.
 
* house republicans block re-authorization of Violence Against Women Act (vawa)

because vawa doesn't just help white christian women in trouble... it helps other women too. like. native women. and immigrants. and probably even atheists too. as the above-piece says:

"Rep. Eric Cantor and his ilk are literally blocking the re-authorization because the updated bill expands access to help to certain types of people Republicans don’t want to help. Ya know, just like Jesus."

{zerlina} 

and i like to think if there is some sort of godthing up there or wherever, he/she/it is pissssssed as hell to be constantly tied up with these hateful people. that's gotta be beyond annoying, no?

  

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ff

are you a feminist?

no? why not?

these are questions i've had many times. of people who are totally feminists. but refuse to use the word. (hi guys! i started this feature for you!)

and here are a few other people who are asking those questions and thinking on them. do have a read!

{mary elizabeth williams at salon makes a real good point}

* why are women scared to call themselves feminists?

and also, in fashion-town:

* do you call yourself a feminist?

okay great job. i'm going to sign off now. and i'm going to do it calling y'all feminists. ready? get yourself ready.


happy friday, my lovely feministas!

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ff

this week there is only one thing. the most celebratingest thing.

*binders. full.

way to be, peeps. so pumped so proud so pleased. happy friday feministas!!!

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ff

*y'all are super lucky this week. cause i wrote this post on tuesday or wednesday. when i was at my usual feminist-anger level. and not the raging ragefest i am now at the end of this too long week of middle-aged straight white men telling me how to feel about my vagina. so you get a fairly cheerful post. and not the red-hot-tears-pouring-down-my-face post that would be if i had had to tackle feminist friday today. yay!*

i can't even believe we finally get a pen!



ellen is the bestest and i love her so.

enough enough enough. this bit reminded me that i have been meaning to talk about the rage-maker that is mark's work wearhouse's new campaign. too. i can't find a picture online so maybe maybe they've smartened up and taken them down*, but for realsies, for weeks all over the toronto subway were signs reading:

* mark's now accepting women

HAHAHA! yup. for real. sure they always sold stuff for ladies before, but now they are actually, like, pumped about selling stuff for ladies. like, whoa! we are welcome! no longer should we hide our heads in shame and hustle in and out with our steel-toes in hand, trying not to inconvenience the male patrons buying their sturdy belts and wooly socks. we can be proud to be shopping there! hoooray! oh wait. nope. now i will never shop there again. ooooops.

STOP IT WITH THE OTHERING! okay. thank you.

*nope! they haven't. there just aren't google-searchable versions... roommate-sarah had the joy of riding in a 'women welcome' subway car just yesterday... after i'd written this post, but before i posted. TADA! HOOOORAY!

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ff (fs)

there are no words, sometimes. i was trying to come up with some sort of othering joke, but i can't even. oh heavy sighs, people.

*cnn wtf

that is all. ugh.

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saved my life meets ff

ohhey, yeah i know we already had a music video today, but this one is SO GOOD i can't not put it up RIGHT NOW. for realsies, the internets.

"You Don't Own Me" PSA from You Don't Own Me on Vimeo.

hearts in my eyes.

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ff (fw)

seeing as i skipped over last week's feminist friday, i'm going to throw this out there today. because i am having strong feelings about it and don't feel like waiting till friday rolls 'round again. in the wake of the string of sexual assaults around toronto. thanks to john for passing along this piece.

* communal fear

i have tried one hundred thousand times to get to the heart of what it feels like to be afraid. to just be afraid. often. everywhere. anytime. after dark. early in the morning. when alone. when somewhere new. when somewhere familiar suddenly seems so unsafe... women have vigilance and fear dug into them very very early. or at least i and so many people i know have had. (and if we haven't, well, aren't we naive and foolish and putting ourselves in danger? say the voices.)

{stacey may fowles}

last night i went to a book launch party in toronto's east side. super hip and happenin'. i had some drinks and danced and tweeted. then i went home alone on the streetcar and subway a little after midnight, and held my breath as i held my head up hoping that tonight was not the night that i stupidly assumed i was safe in my city. knowing that if it was in fact that night, people would wonder about my sky-high clog heels, my short dress, my few drinks. the female friend i was with at the party asked that i text when i got home, which i appreciated. i am always the one who worries about my girlfriends going home alone. i always feel like a broken record. telling them to be careful as if it gives them any power. telling myself i am prepared and aware and vigilant as if it will help me if i ever am one of the unlucky ones. it is constant. it makes a girl very tired. 

     {stacey may fowles again. exactly.}

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worn

what is that? in your pocket? is that $5?! oh you should get rid of that. $5 is so not cool to have on you, man. give it to these awesome people, maybe?



worn is awesome and is barely asking for any money, and also REAL SIZED PEOPLE! did you see that, there? in their video? yeah. that's right. amazing. so. donate if you can. fashion love.

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ff (fs)

uuuuggggggghhhhh guys. sorry. i put off writing this week's feminist friday post cause ugh. right? remember last week's rape-culture-fatigue link?

well this week i was gonna write about men explaining things. (after friends who i love dearly refused to learn from conversations we'd had to either a) NOT TALK ABOUT IT with me or b) adjust their attitudes on rape culture...)

and i was gonna write about the series of sexual assaults in one of my fav toronto neighbourhoods. and the heavy-sighs-for-reals? response from our shitty mayor's niece (and the very-awesome response of one of the victims).

i was gonna write about one of my very favourite humans getting chased right to her front door off the bus by two douchebags in my sweet scary hometown. and the fact that some people felt that 'not taking the bus' anymore was the solution to avoiding such situations. thanks, yo. practical shit.

but yeah. pooped. i've been dancing lots of ballet this week and i just don't feel like getting into and getting angry this week. see back to that fatigue piece.

SO INSTEAD!

i want you to take a look at the man i've decided is theeeee sexiest man. this week. his style is so unconventional and anti-heteronormative! (and daaaaamn them tattoos.) and even though he is gay i am in love with him and hoping maybe he will marry me. after he is done winning project runway... ladies and gentleman. fabio costa. love of my life!

{all photos of sweet beautiful fabio from the project runway site} 

happy long weekend.

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ff

 oooooooooo! celebrity drams or whatever!

time to jump on the bandwagon and start a discussion of aaron sorkin's newest vehicle, 'the newsroom'. hoooray and hooorah! i love tv!

i'll say it once more. i love tv. really and truly. and i'm really enjoying 'the newsroom'. i look forward to sunday nights. but that doesn't mean it is a gooood show - i love a lot of bad tv. backstory:

i've never seen 'west wing'. but i have every intention of watching the whole thing basically in one sitting one day. (mono? can i have you again?) everyone smart and funny and great iknow loves west wing. so. i bet it is pretty amazeballs.

i loooooved 'sports night'. which wasn't around nearly long enough if you ask me. heartbreak.

and i was suuuper excited for 'the newsroom'. until this happened...

* aaron sorkin is rude to one of my favourites and internet girls everywhere furrow their brows

so i thought 'shoot. that doesn't seem very cool beans. sorkin seems to be a bit of an asshat... poop.' but, you know. separate the art from the artist *to a point* and go on living.

and after the pilot episode, sarah-roommate and i had a great chat about how haha, the women were actually pretty freaking great and the super-powerful-white-men-with-their-ideals were pretty reliant on the women who were competent and smart and got shit done. blah blah. not bad. okay!

but. as the show has gone on a few more episodes, the female characters are getting weaker... flakier. manipulate-able. really good at one thing or another, but then pretty crappy at, you know, being well-rounded living things. and ooooh how sad i was when jim 'rescued' maggie from her panic attack. damn it! damn! ugh. i was so hopeful for their relationship and then he went and tooook caaare of her.

anyway. what it comes down to is that i like the show. but also, maybe, aaron sorkin's not-so-developped idea of women is showing. and that's a real shame. or...

* the newsroom is incredibly hostile towards women

poop.

but here's a fun thing! i sure do love a meme.

* hey internet girl...

(also. one more thing. quickly. i'm glad that this trend of scrutinizing shows has emerged. you know. like it did with 'girls' and 'bunheads', both of which i love. too. and obviously this sort of conversation could be happening around a TON of shows, and maybe maybe maybe it will start to spread, and, omg, things will improve!!!??? it could happen. so. i'm glad.)

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ff

i am feeling overwhelmed by words these last few days. so i haven't been reading much. instead. all pictures. pictures and pictures. because let's be truthful. emma is the one of us who is best at words. and i am the one of us who lives in a visual world. (good thing i write such a wooorrrdddddy blog, huh?)



so today. not much for words. just some girl-crushes. because having girl-crushes is, i think, so so so so important. respecting and loving other women. when we are taught to not trust... to compete... to be catty and callous. here are some of the girls (and women, shhhh) i'm mad crazy in love with, which you probably already know, but, yes.

{sarah nicole prickett; chloe sevigny; grace coddington; jennifer nichols; robyn; cat deeley; joanna newsom; kristen wiig}

 

 

plus there is the girl in the office across the hall who is soooo classy-beautiful and has the loveliest smile and seems to take up space in this commanding way that i can't understand.

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ff

*disclaimer. i promise, very soon, to start properly editing my posts... this one feels particularly rambly and lacking in clarity. sorry. i'm too tired, today, to really clean it up. but i do feel that i must start that. bless you for sticking with me!!*

there are a million articles these days about 'this generation' and whether or not we have it better or worse, are too entitled and so on. versus the oldendays. versus our parent's time. here in this first world of ours.

(i suspect this is probably the sort of debate that is constant. i'm sure my parents' parents dealt with the same comparisons to my parents' parents' parents. blah blah and so on. anyways.)

and i am both interested in and tired of these conversations. i'm tired of being told that we - people my age (which actually can mean anything from 20 to 37 as far as i can tell) are lazy and entitled. but then again. a lot of us - the upper or middle class types - are. but it should also be considered that we are that way for a reason, and that reason might have something to do with the way we were raised and our parents and the affluence that that generation found or had or WHATEVER. and also. a lot of us aren't spoiled or lazy and do have it hard. i'm getting completely off track. this isn't what i meant to be going on about. basically: talking about generational differences and the way that the world changes for each is interesting and good. sweeping generalizations are dumb. okay. moving on.

hi! what i want to talk about is. one of the hardships i see for women of this time. the having it all problem. because what comes with the possibility of 'having it all' that first wave feminism gave us? the modern idea that we, therefore, should have it all. like. literally. allllll. and if we don't? well. then we're failing. here's a list of things!

you should be independent and fierce and not give a damn, and you should have a loving partner, and you should have a great job that you loooovvvvee, and you should have a family but not stay home but also not let them be raised by strangers, and you should have traveled a ton on your own before you settled down, and you should be incredibly educated, and you should be pretty and skinny (cause duh), and you should not care if you're pretty and skinny, and you should not diet and love yourself, and you should have all the best clothes, and you should not care about having the best clothes, and you should be political and active and passionate, and you should not be loud or inconveniently opinionated, and you should not be a wallflower, and you should have an amazing home and an amazing nightlife, and you should be athletic, and you should be girly, and you should be tough, and you should be a big boss because you're so tough and girly and strong...

and and and. and i am lucky enough to have pretty good access to most of those things. good ol' privilege. and i still feel, generally, completely overwhelmed and underachieving. it is amazing that more people aren't walking around with exploded heads. (men, too, by the way. the conforming and the being and having it all. but. you know. this is about me, particularly, and the 'free feminist' idea. also, i think this started way before 'my time', but that maybe we're at a point where it is coming to a head. maybe? i will always always think of mom reading 'running on empty', and how that made no sense to little-me, but how very much i came to understand that concept as i became an adult.)

QUOTES!

 

...

  {laurie penny}

and here's the full article for you to read, because as usual i went on longer than i meant to and wasn't as concise and convincing as i hoped to be:

* feminine artifice as power

and if you read all the way down here, you get a prize! SOME MUSICAL THEATRE!

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ff

fashioney week. fashioney thoughts. last friday, as i mentioned, roommate-sarah and i drove down to collingwood (in eug's kickass smart car, thanks eug!!!) to watch 'miss representation' with stylist-sarah, and a theatre filled with women and girls. (and, i think, somewhere around 5 men and boys.) a few things about that trip.

one! the screening was hosted by a group called girlfriends, an after-school program for girls in grades 7 and 8. this program looks just amazeballs, and i hope that there is something equivalent wherever i am raising my one-day-daughter(s). teaching girls to be inclusive and attentive to eachother, to be brave and have their convictions, to learn to voice those convictions... so so so necessary. especially at that tricky age where it is so easy to get lost. yay! so yay! and the young ladies of girlfriends were lining the entrance to the theatre, SOOOO excited to be hosting. they were handing out programs and flyers, telling us to stick around after for prizes. (i did win a shirt. woooot!) they were adorable and awesome. i'm so glad i went.

two! see 'miss representation' if you get the chance. oh man. it was great. there were some not-perfect points, but on the whole the message is concise and pointed. even though i feel pretty up on this stuff (women and girls in media, power positions, and so on) some of the facts and figures were staggering. i wish i had the money to arrange a screening, because there are so many people who i feel don't hear what i'm saying, and that film has some hard to ignore moments. but since i don't have those monies, at least watch the trailer, and maybe look out for a screening near you. we drove around 4 hours to and fro to see this movie. and it was completely and totally worth it.



 and then! for some reading this week.

* a breakdown of the points.

above, you'll find the 6-point pledge that all vogue magazines have signed on for. and here below are two thoughtful pieces reacting to the pledge (or 'health initiative', as they're calling it). this is a yay! for sure. but a wary, cautious yay. read on and think and all that. celebrate the steps that are being taken, but continue to demand ever-more. don't stop questioning! okay go:

* longing built into its very function.

* on the grounds of creative freedom.

(am i allowed to say i kinda sorta totally hate marc jacobs? ugh. whatever. i'm saying it. really? really, marc jacobs?)

{an all plus-size cover from vogue italia's june 2011 issue}

alrighty! good friday, everyone. love and puppies!

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rant

this is a non-friday feminist post because i had already written yesterday's post when something happened that made me foam at the mouth. and i don't feel like waiting till next week to talk about it.

here we go! let's look at this infographic of how sexism works, shall we?

{thank you, xkcd}

i saw this wee cartoon while reading melissa's piece about how feminism works. good stuff. 

and then i had a lovely example handed right to me! how lucky am i?! i was out with friends at a bar. i ordered a martini. a male friend - who as far as i know is a kind and caring and loving type of man - said to me:

'how on the market are you?!' with a sly, slightly condescending look and sassy smile. then explained to me that girls always order martinis when they're single and looking... he sees it all the time. a girl orders a cosmo and it's all a big show of being out there, available, looking for a maaaannnnn. (note. he's bar tended lots. so. he knows.)

here are some important facts. yes. i am rather-newly single. true. i am 'available' i suppose, and 'out there', although the idea of picking up at a bar makes me want to vomit a bit (a lot). i was drinking a dirty gin martini and not a cosmo... 

but. those things DON'T ACTUALLY MATTER AT ALL! because, actually, turns out, i like martinis. and i drink them. because. i like them. in fact, i drink martinis when i'm in relationships too! look at my instagram for proof. ask any of my exes. i ALSO drink martinis when i'm single but NOT looking. which is a thing which is possible, too. weird, right?

when i tried to argue those points, i was of course told that i was being defensive and (by a female friend, too) that that defensiveness was caused by the fact that i knew it was true. blah blah.

nope. that wasn't defensiveness. that was anger. anger that a girl can't drink a drink she likes without it being a big thing that girls do. you know. like sex and the city told us to do it. like shit girls say.

the man also asked me why i didn't just order a double shot of bourbon. and also argued that if i was drinking gin cause i liked gin, i wouldn't have ordered the 'bar rail' gin. my being frugal (or cheap, whichever you prefer) was not a thing, apparently. and. the fact that i didn't want bourbon... or beer, or wine, or vodka, or water, or sodapop, or or or... i'm not going to go into it.

know what tells you i'm on the market? asking my friends if they know of anyone who might be interesting. going on eharmony. going on dates with humans. my saying so. know what doesn't? WHAT I'M DRIKING. because actually, i am me. and not every girl/woman. 

now here's a picture of margene to diffuse some of my (and hopefully your) rage.

that is all. thank you.

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ff

on tuesday of this week, equal pay day was celebrated. that sad tragic holiday that says 'hey! wouldn't it be nice if we could celebrate equal pay?! it would! be SO NICE! but we can't. sorry! we still suck at paying men and women equally. ooooops!'

or.

why i still expect men to pay for the first date, even though i'm a modern, feminist woman.

when we are equally rewarded for our work, i will happily let that expectation go. you're welcome.

{quote in a quote! david futrelle and hilary m. lips}

*david looks at numbers and more.

but also:

*a good point on people who don't get to be equal, too.

sure, this is american stuff. US, that is. numbers. but. you know. like always. we're really close to that country. think about it. think if there's anything you can do about it. (hint. maybe start with un-gender-essentializing. which is a new term i just invented! because women can totes be inventors.)

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ff

tra la la. i will never stop loving tavi genvinson. sorry! i won't! she's so much cool.



this comes at a good time, too, as sarah and i had a great little talk about tv and what happened to women on tv, yo? i'm talking mainstream tv. sarah is re-watching ally mcbeal. and she said she's floored how often they use the work 'feminism'. like. all the time. it isn't a dirty word or anything! and characters are shameful and embarrassed when they get it wrong. you know? when they DON'T get on board with the feminism. i cannot think of a show today that would dare do that. maybe maybe on hbo or showtime? maybe? can you think of any? on normal-tv? i can't.

what happened, dudes? another point on my 'sexism is back, worse, insidious, and we had better be aware' campaign. even from 15 years ago...

and here's a cool little thought piece. too. about tv. and wives.

*snp watches some 'real' housewives and thinks about beyoncé

happy friday, fighters. go rent some movies or tv shows from the 90's and feel empowered!

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ff

you might remember there being a little teaser last week?

yeah!

on learning and unlearning. or. the impossibility of the latter.

i am just a wee baby of feminism. this is true. i am so so new and all a-stumbles on my under-formed feminist-legs. like a baby deer learning to walk. (i think maybe baby deer should be the blorg mascott... but that's another issue. a cute issue.) but the thing about it is: once you know, you can't un-know. you know?

(haha!)

and so that is where i am. i may not have the best language to argue my (our) case. but. i know i need to argue it anyway. because i have started to see it. and now i can't help but see it all the time.* to see that the united states is a terror-fest for women, despite the fact that it isn't as obvious as not-being-allowed-an-education, or being-forced-to-cover-our-bodies-in-a-complete-way... to see how many women and girls i know who are so deeply damaged by years of being told certain things about what it means to be a woman. to see how many men and boys i know who are so deeply damaged by years of being told certain things about what it means to be a man.

and sometimes i wish i didn't see it. sometimes i wish i could laugh at things like 'shit girls say' and not feel sick to my stomach knowing that there is something so deeply ingrained and flawed in the way we mock eachother. sometimes i wish my heart didn't hurt so much so often.

but that would mean i was going along blissfully ignorant. and i no longer have that option. and i suspect there are those amongst you, readers, who are hesitant to open up to the knowing. i can't blame you. it's hard. and there is no going backwards. so. i get it. if you're hesitant to join me... but i hope you will anyways. because we all know that struggle and hardship are what make us stronger humans. or something. and we can only improve things if we see them in the first place.

tra la la.

{our beloved hillary clinton drinks to the feminist of the week! photo from international business times.}

feminist of the week for this extra-special my-birthday-week has been a long time coming. sarah rankin!!! roommate extraordinaire. and feminist educator to the masses. she introduced me to feministe and shakesville, and she taught me to argue and fight when i feel i need to. she also explained this sad-truth of not being able to go back once you're in. and we had a cool talk about consent and knowledge, which maybe i'll have her guest-write about one day when she's done with school for the term... yeah?!

*it is, of course, important not to get toooo carried away, and let it ruin your life completely. and so. kittens.

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ff

this week i got into a little facebookfight with a stranger.

a friend of mine posted a link about a clothing company in the UK which printed men's trouser labels that read something along the lines of:

washing instructions [ ...blah blah... ] - or - give it to your woman. it's her job.

so, my reaction was 'seeeeeeriously?! burn the store to the ground.'

and to be fair, advocating the store be burned down isn't the best action. true. i'll give you that. but, you know. i meant metaphorically. like. burn down their profits. destroy their reputation. expose their dickbagery and shame them for it. i probably should've been more specific.

but then someone i didn't know got all 'oh yeah, grab your torch ladies, am i right?! learn to take a joke.'

so i had to explain that, actually, yes. DO grab your torch. for god's sake, do! because a joke isn't a joke if its punchline is the repression of women that is still a reality for many in our 'dignified' part of the world, not even beginning to mention the rest of the world where women may not be so lucky as to be attacked quietly and insidiously... they're attacked loudly and proudly. AND. a joke isn't a joke if its punchline was a complete reality a generation ago. if the punchline is our mothers and our grandmothers.

blah blah.

i won. anyways.

but!

*here's a great thing! to back up my argument.

about how feminists of yonder year fought tooth and nail for us women now. and how we should not take our liberties for granted. and how we should not be complacent and let those liberties slip away. because what equality we have now? it is imperfect but it is a LOT better than none. and none is not so far away. so. be grateful. and be aware. and grab your torch, goddamn! scream it from the goddamn mountaintops!!!

 {photo from myparentswereawesome}

(ah shoot. i meant to write about 'unlearning' this week, but i've got too many words already. so. next week! exciting! teaser!!!)

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